Mind, Body, and Divorce...What a combination!
Updated: Feb 7, 2021
One of the four pillars of divorce preparation is protecting your sanity. In protecting your sanity, you also have to protect your mind. Mind and body are synonymous with one another. In general, when you go through a divorce, mindset is an essential thing to have right. We talk a lot about mindset in the Divorce Shield TRIBE and the Divorce Preparation Bootcamp because your mindset is the core of success in dealing with divorce.
I divorced more than 700 men in my career as a divorce attorney. The one thing that I have seen happen with many of them is a complete absence of taking care of their bodies during the divorce process. Whenever you are stressed out and going through something very emotional, thinking about your diet and exercise is not at the top of your list. But, IT SHOULD BE! Just think about any time you are stressed out, and you go for a run, ride an elliptical machine, or lift some weights. Don't you feel better? Of course, you do!
Eating like Shit = Feeling like Shit
We also know that if you spend a night eating a lot of crap and drinking a lot, you feel like shit the next day. Why do we do it? It is because, at that moment, it makes us feel better. If you are stressed out, it feels good at the end of the night to have a couple of beers, eat some nachos, or have a whisky. Whatever the case is, there are things that you are likely doing that are so counterproductive to ensuring you can get divorced without getting screwed. That is ultimately what we are trying to do. We want to help you understand how you can plan to prepare for divorce to get a better outcome, survive the divorce, and then thrive in the next chapter of your life.
Taking Care of Your Body = A Better Divorce
How can taking care of your body get you a better outcome in your divorce? It would help if you had the right mentality to get a good outcome. Otherwise, you will be fighting for things you do not want because your mind's not in the right place. Even worse, you might put your head in the sand, not acknowledge that the divorce is happening, and miss out on things that are truly important to you. Then, when you do get your head out of your ass in a year or two, you are so upset with yourself that you did not fight for important things, like your children. Below, we will outline habits you can adopt to have a healthy life as you approach and go through a divorce.
You Must Vary Your Exercise
The first thing to get on the road to being healthy is to vary your fitness routines. What we mean is do not do the same thing every day. You do not want monotony. Nothing makes me feel better than just going for a long walk listening to podcasts or music. Then, the next day, it is excellent to do a high-intensity interval workout. Then, the next day, maybe you use the elliptical machine or lift some weights. If you are always doing something different, it is not going to feel like a chore.
Accountability Buddy is Good!
Number two, you should find a friend that is going through a divorce that lives near you or any friend of yours that motivates you to do the exercising with so that you have somebody that is going to hold you accountable. As noted above, you are not going to want to do it. You will be stressed out, so make sure you got somebody that could hold you accountable. Even better, if you have someone going through what you are going through, like someone you meet through our Divorce Shield TRIBE, you will have someone to lean on.
Monitor that Food
Number three, you need to pay attention to what you eat. I use an app that logs food so that I can see what I am eating. When you log all of your food, you will eat better and eat less. You also must make sure that you have got a balanced approach every day and again. When you are going through a divorce, eating healthy will be challenging. If you eat poorly, you are going to feel bad. If you are feeling bad, you are going to be more apt to make bad decisions. Making bad decisions is not a good thing when you are going through a divorce. Wrong decisions can be costly.
You do not have to be Julia Child, but COOK!
Number four, learn how to cook. If you do not know how to cook, what better hobby to learn while you are going through a divorce than to learn how to cook? Learning how to cook these days is not hard. The food network and YouTube are full of how-to videos and shows. You could even get one of the services that send you food that you cook with directions. Setting aside the benefits to your health, hobbies are significant for your mental health. But also, it is going to help you eat better. When you go out to eat, you eat all kinds of crap. Also, what better way to impress someone post-divorce but to show them your cooking skills!
Lift Those Weights
Next, you need to do strength training. Going for a walk or doing something basic is easy, but doing strength training is hard. It is something that can be very time consuming and very difficult on your body. I realize that you are already going to be stressed out, but it is essential for you. It is the kind of thing that if you incorporate it into your routine, it will make you feel so much better. I am not a fitness buff by any means, but I have seen so many guys go through a divorce and let their bodies fall apart. Do not let that happen to you.
Try New Foods
Next, try new foods. This goes along with cooking, but try some foods you have never tried before. You were just married to somebody and, if you are like most marriages, you do not make two dinners at night. So, you have a situation where one of you does not like certain foods. Therefore, you are probably not making them much in the house. This is your opportunity to explore new foods. Try to make sure that you are experiencing life because one of the things that happen when you are in a bad marriage is your experience of life is muted to some degree. You want to make sure that you can find new pleasures in life that you have not been able to find before.
Watch those serving sizes and food choices
Listen, going through a divorce is awful. You will want to grab a bag of chips and go to town. But, you should not. Pay attention to your serving sizes. This is where using an app is so helpful. Since I have started using an app, I have learned a serving size is much smaller than you think it is, and you are eating a lot more calories than you think you are. This is why over time, so many people gain weight. Your stress will add up to pounds. Stay motivated and take care of yourself. It will pay dividends in the divorce process and the outcome that you get.
I want you guys to remember how important it is to eat healthy when you are stressed. It would be best if you ate lots of fruits, vegetables, and lean meats. I am not here to tell you what your diet should be. I think I think any diet that we use the word diet is a bunch of crap. They are not sustainable. What is sustainable is just eating better. Do it when you start to go down the divorce road and be in a better place.
Overall, the point of this blog is to remind you that successful divorce planning and preparation extends beyond money and your children. You have to protect your body, which will protect your sanity. Remembering the need to exercise and eat well is something that cannot be understated. It would be best if you were reminded that it is crucial to maintain the right mindset. You cannot get through a divorce successfully without the right mindset. It is the foundation of everything that we teach you. Without a positive mindset, you will set yourself up for failure.
If you want step-by-step instructions on all of the ways you can protect your sanity, join our Divorce Shield TRIBE.